Surrender vs. Compliance
Recovering from a substance use disorder can be extremely challenging. This is particularly true for those that have been drug or alcohol dependent for many years and have been in several treatment programs attempting to establish and maintain sobriety. Why do some individuals seemingly have a better treatment experience than others, and are even able to grasp recovery and hold onto it as a new lifestyle, while others repeatedly fail to do so? The answer to those questions are not simple, due to the individual ways people develop their dependency on mind altering substances. There is a concept that has been around for ages, perhaps as old as AA, and that is the phenomenon of surrender vs. compliance. Let us explore the differences.
Compliance: In any treatment program there are those who are able to adapt quite readily to the program’s structure and regimen. They understand and follow the rules, attend all groups on the schedule, go to all their individual sessions with their assigned counselors, test negative on all urinalysis while in the program, attend all the house meetings, community meetings, and in some cases complete their relapse prevention plans before they are discharged from treatment. All of those things are desirable, and in some cases rewarded, however it does not guarantee the individual success in establishing and maintaining sobriety.
Many people are good at complying with rules, regulations and protocols. They can be in the right place at the right time and appear to be doing the right thing in most instances. I liken it to a pizza shop that hands out cards upon purchasing a pizza. After the purchase, the person gets a punch in the card and, once they purchase 10 pizzas and collect the required 10 punches, they can turn that card in for a free pizza. Doing that does not necessarily mean those individuals even like the pizza. What they may like is that they can get a free pizza, once they follow the rules and complied with the protocol. Compliance is a behavior that can be observed, and when repeated over and over again may come with rewards. Compliance, however, does not automatically equate to recovery.
I have observed people go through a 9 month intensive outpatient program, receive a certificate of completion, and within 24-48 hours of their graduation drink or use again. What happened you may ask? What may have happened is that the person knew how to do what was required to complete the program, but did not surrender to the process of recovery, trust the process of group, or accepted they are an addict. Therefore, they were not in recovery in the true sense, they were just able to abstain from use while they were actively participating in the program. We could say: they failed to establish their sobriety.
Surrender: What makes surrender so much different than compliance is the attitude the individual exhibits. For instance a person who surrenders to the fact they are an addict and that addiction is a disease, often fares very well in treatment. He or she is not trying to figure out the “ins and outs” of what makes the program work. These folks, instead, are working their own recovery program, and not taking anyone else’s inventory by comparing. A person who has surrendered is not trying to change the program, they understand the program exists to help change them.
People who surrender ask for help because they know that recovery is virtually impossible to attain by themselves. In fact, in the 37 years I have been an addictions professional I have not seen one individual who was able to establish and maintain sobriety by themselves (not a one). Once a person surrenders to the process of recovery, the process of group, is working the 12 steps of AA/NA willingly, and does the work, a miraculous thing happens. They also accept that addiction is a disease, not a lack of moral character or unwillingness to be in recovery. They understand their brains were hijacked and they have a disease that is treatable. However, if it is not treated, it does not get better on its own, but progressively worse over time (until his or her life becomes unmanageable). It is this surrender and subsequent acceptance where the healing begins and the miracle of recovery begins to happen.
As I do this work (God’s work) assisting those individuals that are afflicted with substance use disorders, I look for surrender and acceptance as hallmarks that the individual has a better than 50/50 chance to establish and maintain sobriety for as long as they so desire. That is not only encouraging but for many a life changing endeavor worth pursuing.